About
Coke and Tears was written by Robbie Williams and Guy Chambers and appeared as a B-side to the double A-side single She’s the One / It’s Only Us in 1999. It stands out as one of the strangest and most theatrical entries in Williams’s B-side catalogue, mixing biting humour with surreal storytelling. The song reflects the darker undercurrents of fame and self-destruction that often surfaced in his writing during this period.
Built around a blues-inflected groove, the track opens with a mock stage announcement before descending into a swirl of sardonic lyrics about betrayal, jealousy and excess. Lines such as “You’ll marry someone rich but bet you won’t steal his watch when you’re down by near his crotch” display Williams’s caustic wit at full strength. The title phrase alludes to both glamour and downfall, with “coke” and “tears” symbolising the two sides of celebrity life — hedonism and regret.
The closing sequence, featuring a gospel-style refrain of “Glory, glory, hallelujah,” reinforces the song’s tone of dark irony, turning self-mockery into performance art. Coke and Tears is a quintessential Williams B-side: provocative, musically ambitious and steeped in gallows humour, capturing the volatility that made him such a singular voice in late-1990s British pop.
I like the weird ones — the songs that sound like they shouldn’t work but somehow still make you grin.Robbie Williams
Lyrics
Just because your dyslexic
Doesn't mean that your not fake
We know you're not that stupid
You'll marry someone rich
Bet you won't steal his watch
When your down there near his crotch
That'll explain the itch
You were such a lying bitch
I know you hold my suitcase
Down in Kensington
And you were screwing Ewan
When I wasn't in
Did it to me, you'll do it to him
Your friends just gave me grief
I will make this brief
You were such a lousy thief
You were such a lousy thief
But you were good in bed
You were good in bed
So good in bed
Now you tell my girlfriend
That I'll never change
You've been up since Wednesday
Don't you find that strange
You're ex-boyfriend is deranged
You'll tell them down in Browns
Haven't been for years
It's full of coke & tears
Full of coke & tears
Full with coke & tears
But you were good in bed
Good in bed
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you on behalf of Mr Robbie Williams and the band, you've been a fantastic audience. Robbie's opened his heart out to you tonight and you've really taken him on board. Remember the name and whenever he's in the neighbourhood, you get yourselves down there alright. It's been a great evening, thank you very much. Robbie Williams has now left the building. Oh no, I'm afraid he's come back for his coke - now he's left the building - thank you very much - thank you very much.
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Glory glory hallelujah
Credits
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Vocalist
Robbie Williams -
Songwriter
Robbie Williams, Guy Chambers