About
No One Likes a Fat Pop Star closes Swings Both Ways with humour and self-awareness. Written by Robbie Williams and Guy Chambers, the song is a comic operetta-style number that mixes playful self-deprecation with sharp cultural commentary. It reflects Williams’s long-standing ability to laugh at himself while addressing the pressures of fame and image that have accompanied his career.
The track was inspired by Williams’s reflections on public scrutiny and the entertainment industry’s obsession with appearance. Set to a jaunty orchestral backdrop, the song parodies musical theatre conventions with exaggerated vocals, theatrical flourishes and witty asides. Its mock-grandiose tone allows Williams to poke fun at both celebrity vanity and his own fluctuating relationship with fame. He described it as “tongue-in-cheek honesty dressed up in full Broadway pomp.”
Musically, No One Likes a Fat Pop Star blends elements of vaudeville and light opera, complete with swelling strings, choral interjections and an overture-style arrangement. The song’s exaggerated dynamics and comedic delivery evoke the tradition of British music hall entertainment, a recurring influence throughout Williams’s swing projects. Its lyrics balance wit with candour, acknowledging insecurity while turning it into spectacle.
“It’s me taking the mickey out of myself and the business I’m in. The idea that you can be adored one minute and dismissed the next just because you’ve put on a few pounds — it’s ridiculous, so I made a song about it.”Robbie Williams
Performed as a theatrical finale during his 2013 London Palladium show, No One Likes a Fat Pop Star featured elaborate staging and a troupe of dancers, reinforcing its camp extravagance. Critics praised it for its wit and self-parody, seeing it as a fitting conclusion to Swings Both Ways. Blending humour, honesty and showbiz bravado, the song encapsulates Williams’s enduring appeal as a performer unafraid to send himself up while still delivering a masterclass in entertainment.
Lyrics
Second helpings, no worries
Pile the carbs upon the plate
Then one day, it's too late
No breakfast, no luncheon
Just carpets I'm munching
A thimble of self-esteem
Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter
The saddest that I've ever been
You just can't be portly, not this side of 40
Showbiz, a single chin game
Scum paparazzi's and weight police nasties
Have narrowed the hall of fame
No one likes a fat pop star
Pop is a place for the thin
No one likes a fat pop star
We want to hear thin people sing
When I get faint, I chew through my restraints
It's the best meal that I've had all week
If I could eat my own words, I'd tear through the verbs
But nobody pays me to speak
No one likes a fat pop star
Pop is a place for the thin
No one like a fat pop star
We want to hear thin people sing
Now you've upset me, I feel like a snack
A packet of Minstrels, a pie and a nap
So what's wrong with that
No breakfast, no luncheon
Just carpets I'm munching
A thimble of self-esteem
Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter
The thinnest that I've ever been
Thank you
Credits
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Vocalist
Robbie Williams -
Songwriter
Robbie Williams, Guy Chambers